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Predictions for the 2008 Season
"Baseball is like church…Many attend few understand." Ahh yes, another famous quote from the great Leo Durocher.
Well it's that time again — warmer weather, family barbecues, sleepy seaside days, and oh yeah, the greatest sport of them all — American Baseball. Others tried to top the American pastime but all have fallen like Mike Tyson or Milli Vanilli did back in the 90's. For starters let's get some news items out of the way. First, kudos go to the media for getting Britney and Paris off the front pages and headlines of credible news agencies. Second, in the infamous words of Jay Leno, "What the hell was Eliot Spitzer thinking?" Did he actually think he could get away with this? Well, the perils of a double life. Not to mention this Larry Craig guy from Idaho. Boy I thought our state had bad politicians. This guy makes Jim McGreevey look like an altar boy. [Editor's Note: I wouldn't go that far!]
We look forward to a great summer to rid us all from the boring ‘08 Campaign for President. Well at least it's a Summer Olympics year which should be great if the Chinese can get their heads out of the sand with this Tibetan Monks' revolt. I mean they're monks, do they really need to be suppressed with guns and tanks? What's next, feed the priests to the lions? Well here go the predictions for ‘08.
The National League
N.L. East — I like the Phils to outlast the Pests/Mets and Slaves/Braves. Yeah all the glamour goes to NY as it always does with the acquisition of Santana, but the horror of last year's September collapse (worse since the ‘64 Phils) will haunt them again. The Braves' staff has been around longer then Senator McCain, and that's old. I can't see much from the Nats and the Fish, who have about as much chance of winning the division as Ralph Nader has of winning the presidency.N.L. Central — I have to go with the Drubs/Cubs here. I like the way they fought through injuries last year and Lou Piniella has them thinking pennant again. Led by Kerry Wood in the closer role and a strong starting staff, I look for them to edge out the Brew Crew and the Cards. Hey let's here it for the Cards' manager Tony "I think I'm smarter than baseball" La Russa, who stayed sober in this year's spring training season.
N.L. West — Well this division has more comebacks in it than the ‘80s band The Eagles. I have to like the Dodgers here. New manager Joe Torre and some strong starting pitching is the formula for edging out the Rockies. I look for the wildcard to come out of this division, and for Baroid Bonds (as Steve Somers calls him) goes to jail for lying to a grand jury. Speaking of jail and boneheaded athletes, Roger Clemens should be on the hit list for Congress soon. What a joke those hearings were. I mean even the wife is involved, how bad is that? Some households have the strangest happenings. And I thought our politicians were bad. Jeezzz.
The American League
A.L. East — Well with all the money being spent in this division it's hard to believe one of big 3 payrolls can't get to the October Classic. The Dead Sox should win this division despite having to play in Japan in March. What was Clueless Bud thinking here? First the all-star game decides who is home for the World Series, and now this. I hope he got his pockets lined nice for this fiasco. Then he wasn't going to pay the coaches! Bud has got to go! The Crankees will also be formidable with hardnosed manager Joe Girardi, just two years removed from managing the Fish to a strong finish and the manager of the year award. The Jays and O's are not far behind here as I see the wildcard coming from this division. It should be a dogfight. [Editor's Note: Can we still say "dogfight"?]A.L. Central — I can see the Tigers running away with this after signing Cabrera and Willis from Florida. Along with manager Jim Leyland, they have to be the odds on favorite here. A strong start will be the key for them. The Indians should finish a close second here.
A.L. West — Well again the Angels have spent almost as much as the Cranks and the Dead Sox so it's follow the money trail here. I see Vlad Guerrero getting his second MVP for them and manager Mike Scioscia getting some fight from the young Mariners and A's, but it's no contest after Labor Day. Oh yeah, I still hate the DH rule and refuse to watch any AL games till the pitcher bats, like Mister Spalding meant it to be. [Editor's Note: Luddite!] Well see you at the ball park.
— Johnny "Prime Time" Maz
see also around the horn:
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