Around the Horn

Predictions for the 2004 season

[Editor's Note: This column was received April 23, three weeks into the season. The division leaders at this time were Florida, Chicago and Cincinnati tied, Los Angeles, Baltimore, Minnesota, and Oakland.]

Hello again everyone on the Martytown website, time for hot dogs, apple pie and baseball. It's been a long winter here on the right coast and most of us (Marty and Mike W. not included) are ready for the great American pastime. Ah yes the rites of spring, the swallows to Capistrano, longer days, and baseball. As Bob Costas said, "no matter how much the owners, unions, players and of course clueless Bud Selig try to ruin this great game, they just can't." It will still be now and forever the greatest game of them all. Maybe George W. Bush said that. Well enough of all dat jabbering. Here goes with the picks.

The National League
N.L. East — Phils. A slow start and a cranky Skipper (Bowa) won't stop the Phils this year from knocking off the best franchise in sports, the Hotlanta Slaves. Atlanta and the Fish have more holes in their lineup then a new graveyard. [Ed. note: this is harsh!] The Mets may prove some people wrong with nothing to lose and everything to gain this year. Art Howe could make a run late into the season. The Expos lost Vladimir Guerrero and Ace Vazquez. 'Nuf said. Phils should win 99 games and take the East.

N.L. Central — Cubs. The Drubs look to revive themselves after that debacle last October. What a turnaround. And with some good young arms, timely relief, and Slammin' Sammy Sosa, I see the Flubs over the high priced Stros and Cards. Like a house of Cards both will fade in September when the heat is on. The Reds may be the sleeper here, like the Mets in the East, with nothing to lose. And the Brew Crew is owned by the Clueless one, cellar dwellers for this lame Triple A club.

N.L. West — Giants. Ho Hum, the Giants win the West. This team should Cruz to the top in another division filled with pretenders. Bonds looks to pass Ruth this year, although Barry "I didn't do anything illegal" Bonds has no clue how good Ruth was in his day, safe to say pound for pound his numbers are better all around. With skipper Felipe Alou at the helm like the Captain of the Queen Mary, Giants win this one in August. The rest of the division here is very weak. Maybe the Padres can pray their way to a pennant race in September, but that seems highly unlikely with no proven veterans on the team. 'Zona and the Dodgers are overpaid and under worked.

The American League:
The Junior Circuit (and I do mean Junior)

In the Junior Circuit where the DH rules and takes away any thought process for a manager, who cares? Surely us purists don't. Plus the Crankees just buy their way to the top anyway. By the way, the Cranks spent almost half a billion dollars the past three years on a world championship and came away empty 3 for 3. Hey that's almost as bad as the Billy "I'm the smartest" Bean A's 0 for 9 in clinch games the past 3 years. Billy you're not that good! Really! You're not! Well here goes for the Diaper League:

A.L. East — The Boston Dead Sox should win this with ex-National Leaguer Curt Schilling. The Cranks finish in the wild.

A.L. Central — Twins. I know they don't have a chance but neither did the Marlins last year (and that's why this is the greatest game).

A.L. West — The Angels, with NL all star Vladimir Guerrero in this lineup, wake up the ghost of 2002 with a pennant in its clubhouse in October.