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Preseason Skinny for the 2006 Season[Editor's Note: We received the skinny just after Week 1, but didn't get it up online until after Week 2.]
“Winning is everything that’s why they keep a score.” From the mouth of Jersey’s own Vince Lombardi, we’re ready for another football season. Last year give the Steelers their due, although the Patriots beat them at home without their starting strong safety (Rodney Harrison) in week 5, and they had some help from the zebras in the Super Bowl, they are world champions. Before my skinny I have a few things to say about the preseason:
1. It stinks! It makes about as much sense as GW Bush lowering taxes during a war. No more than 2 games needed. End of story.
2. Brett Favre should retire, he’s older then Strom Thurmond’s wife for God’s sake.
3. TO/Terrell Owens, you’re not the all world all everything you think you are.
4. I love everybody picking the Fish to win the AFC east. That has about as much chance as us pulling out of Iraq before Bushman is out of office. Oh yeah, speaking of non-stories, I could care less about Tom Cruise and what his kid looks like, along with the non-story of FATAS% Rosie O’Donnell going on The View — ewwwwwwwww (as Merv Griffin would say).The NFC
Okay, let’s once again look at the NFC picture. Well this is about as clear as John Kerry’s discharge papers. [Editor’s note: So it is clear or it is not clear? Or does it depend on what “is” means?] In the NFC East I have to go with the Beagles/Eagles. Although the division has gotten better, there are still more holes in this division then in a block of Swiss cheese. I give the Giants a close second. The rest will be in the basement with the rest of the fall lineup for NBC.In the NFC South I like Hotlanta to break out in this division, with Michael Vick having an MVP type year if he stays healthy. Adding John Abraham to the D will be a big help if he stays healthy. Look for Carolina to make a run, the Bucs and the Aints fighting for the also ran position.
In the NFC Norris/North I like the Spares/Bears. This Urlacher guy can scare Bob Novak to leak his sources with just his gameface. The rest of these teams are so bad they’re not worth mentioning.
In the NFC West, let’s go ZONA! That’s right, the Cards will shuffle faster then Jesus Ferguson shuffles cards at a Texas hold ’em game. The Seahawks will have to settle for wildcard with the 9ers and Slams banging up the rear.
The AFC
Well off to the real conference, the AFC. In the AFC East I like the Patriots. They will have a tough time with the Fish and the not yets/Jets, but look for them to win their fifth title in 6 years. Brady and company should prevail as will the Republicans in the Senate this year.In the AFC South, I like Jacksonville Jags. The Jolts lost a lot when the Edge left town (not the guitar player from U2) and will settle for wildcard. The Texans and the Titans have little to expect but a bronze metal in this OK division.
In the AFC North, where the division is about at tough as going hunting with Dick Cheney (and that’s tough) I see the Bengals getting their revenge on the Steel gang. Carson Palmer is one the emerging stars in this league and should he stay healthy, a trip to the title game is waiting for him.
In the AFC West I have to go with the Bolts. Third-year QB Philip Rivers has an arm and has been waiting two years for this to come to fruition. Tomlinson (he of the funny first name) should get his usual 1,200 plus yards and a stingy defense will put the Bolts back atop in the AFC’s weakest division.
Well there you have it, the 2006 skinny for the season. See you come playoff time. Go IRISH! Note: I will be at the Army vs. Air Force game this year on the Hudson. Will see everyone else at Princeton stadium for some great college football! Go Tigers!
— Johnny "Prime Time" Maz
