They Said It

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2006-07 Season
"He looked at me and said, 'Do you want to fight? Do you want to fight?' I didn't say anything to him anyway. If he wants to fight, we can fight. I don't have any problem with him, but we can do it if he wants. I have no reason why in the middle of a game he would yell at me, 'Do you want to fight?'
— Tim Duncan, on referee Joey Crawford.

Let the Greg Oden sweepstakes begin!
— The Commissioner of MartyTown.

"That's P.J. I've got to be a little more political with what I say. I don't have a championship. He's got a right to say whatever he wants to say. After a few championships, maybe I can talk crazy a little bit."
— Lamar Odom on Phil Jackson, after Jackson said the NBA was on a "witch hunt" against Kobe Bryant.

"These are men playing the games — that's why they call it the NBA — No Boys Allowed."
— Lakers' coach Phil Jackson, whining about the officiating (again).

"What if they gave a Supplemental Draft, and no one was picked?"
— The Commissioner of MartyTown.

Backhanded Compliment of the Week
"I feel he's been an important part to getting this franchise to where it is now."
— Charlotte GM Michael Jordan, announcing that Bernie Bickerstaff will not return as coach next season. Bickerstaff has gone 67-161 in three seasons with the Bobcats.

Factoid of the Week
The Sixers swept a six game homestand for the first time
since 1986 (the good ol' Barkley days).

"Winners at the Trade Deadline: Luol Deng and Ben Gordon. As unfavorable NBA destinations go, the Memphis Grizzlies have risen to the top of most players' lists. The owner wants to sell the team, the Hall of Fame GM is on the way to retirement and the roster has been gutted of veteran talent and salary. Otherwise, the barbeque is still great."
— Adrian Wojnarowski of Yahoo! Sports, regarding the fact that Chicago did not trade either Deng or Gordon for Memphis' Pau Gasol.

"Just remember this when 7-foot-3 Sino-American/African-American star Xin-Ling Stoudemire or Chow-Zang Arenas is drafted first in the 2028 NBA Draft."
— Bill Simmons of ESPN Page 2, commenting on the fact that NBA All-Star weekend happened in Las Vegas during the same weekend as Chinese New Year.

"If the NBA comes out with a new rule that you can win by half a point, we'd take it."
— Nets' coach Lawrence Frank, after defeating the Hawks 87-85 and breaking a four game losing streak.

"All I know is, I got fired after I lost at Utah, and so did Dwane. The next guy should just take a sick day when they play at Utah. Don't get on the plane."
— Former Timberwolves' coach Flip Saunders, on Dwane Casey, who was fired as the T-Wolves' coach after losing at Utah.

Ageless Quotes of the Week
"It's amazing, just the way I'm playing. Even to myself, I'm sitting down like, 'Whoa, is Mutombo really playing like that?' "
— Dikembe Mutombo, on his amazing play of late.

"He has found the fountain of youth. And whatever it is, I want a bottle of it."
— Teammate Shane Battier.

"With Yao going down, the old man is getting it done out there on both ends of the court."
— Teammate Tracy McGrady.

Quote of the Week
"Probably."
— Pat Riley, when asked if he could have limped along without hip-replacement surgery if the Heat were 25-2. (A lot of class, that Riley.)

Honeymoon Quotes of the Week
"It's a different atmosphere from Philly, different in just my wanting to come to the arena, wanting to come to practice, just wanting to be around people in the organization."
— Allen Iverson, comparing Denver to Philly.

"I told Allen I'm going to call Larry and tell him you're not that hard to deal with."
— Nuggets' coach George Karl, regarding Larry Brown.

"He's just a proven winner. We're the same type of people. We want to win. We're fiery at times and we just want to do everything the right way. I think Coach Karl is a little more laid-back than Coach Brown."
— Allen Iverson, on George Karl.

"He travels on that spin move. He picks up that pivot foot … everybody knows it. Dwyane Wade can cover so much ground when he makes that move. As you know, he can go 20 feet with that spin move and get to the basket."
— Lakers' coach Phil Jackson ripping Dwyane Wade, shortly after ripping Shaq.

Quotes of the Week from Ringside!
"I don't even know. That's the first time I ever seen the dude."
— Denver's JR Smith, asked why the Knicks' Mardy Collins had fouled him so hard.

"It's all gone in New York now — the pride, the respect, the dignity. This isn't just a bad team; this is a bad act. A once proud franchise and fan base brought to its knees as its pathetic coach makes excuses and whines for mercy."
— Dan Wetzel, Yahoo Sports.

"On every level, this was an embarrassment. The NBA could've lived with Nate Robinson wrestling Smith into the beautiful people in the Garden's front row, but everything changed when Anthony — one of the faces of the league — turned the court into an unruly mess with a right-cross upside Collins' head. The top scorer in the league and an MVP candidate, Anthony dissolved into knucklehead tendencies."
— Adrian Wojnarowski, Yahoo! Sports.

"I truly wanted to retire a 76er." — Allen Iverson.
Don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.
"This is a big issue right now." — GM Billy King.
Brilliant guy, that Billy King.
"I didn't see this coming." — Owner Ed Snider.
Another Einstein.
"I'm going to have to joke with him on how I hope that he doesn't win a championship before me." — Chris Webber.
Earth to Chris, come in, are you there?

"This isn't much of a revelation in the league, but Isiah Thomas is finding out the hard way about the corrosive consequences of coaching Marbury. After a decade in the NBA, Marbury still refers to a mythical third person, a character of some sort, named 'Starbury.' For two years with the New York Knicks, when things aren't going his way, he keeps promising Starbury's return to the court. Around New York, this isn't considered a promise as much as it is a threat."
— Adrian Wojnarowski, writing for Yahoo! Sports.

"He pushes both buttons, good and bad. There are times when you are happy with him when you walk out of the arena and other times you would like to strangle him."
— Nuggets' Coach George Karl, on J.R. Smith.

Definition of the Week
Maleski \ma-le-skee\ verb
To make an offer that, when accepted, is immediately withdrawn or presented as only a "feeler". Usually occurs when the person making the offer realizes that a quick acceptance means too much was offered.
(Example: Jay offers me Ben Wallace and Hinrich for Shaq and Szczerbiak. I say yes. Jay then Maleskis me, saying his offer may have been too much, and pulls the trade off the table.)

"I can't wait until next year's random new rule, which will definitely be something like 'No chewing gum during games because it doesn't look classy' or 'You have to wear NBA-approved bulletproof vests when you go to a club.' "
— ESPN's Bill Simmons, on David Stern's annual random rule change for no reason at all (this year the basketball, last year the dress code).

"When I started out in the Chicago front office, the first thing I was told was, 'If Red Auerbach calls, hang up the phone.' "
— Rod Thorn, on how he learned to handle an Auerbach trade offer.

2005-06 Season
"They're not here. When they get here, they'll be late and they'll be [bleeping] fined. That's what the [bleep] I'm going to talk about. All right? Our team is not good right now. I know that, and worrying about the [bleep] that they're late or not doesn't do any [bleeping] bit of good to be sitting here worrying about it.

"We didn't make the playoffs. I've got a lot of [bleeping] work to do, and this is some [bleep] that is a distraction to me. Am I pissed off? You're goddamn right I am. Is that what you want to hear? You [bleeping] heard it.

"Shit will be different next year."
— Sixers' President Billy King, responding to reporters' questions about why Allen Iverson and Chris Webber were not on the bench for the Sixers' last home game of the season, which was also "Fan Appreciation Night".

"THIS WAS NOT Allen Iverson's last night in a 76ers uniform. How could it have been? He never put it on."
— Philadelphia Daily News reporter Phil Jasner on the controversy.

"Hey, I'm 43 and I've never had a real job, and I hope I never do."
— Charles Barkley, on hearing that he will be inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame on September 9.

"When your team is playing as if Thomas is coaching, when fans are yearning for the days of Dancing Harry, it's apparent Larry Legible is trying to leverage his way into a buyout of the final years of his $11M per contract. The Knicks aren't nearly as bad as Brown has made them. Find as many faults as you want with the roster, the Knicks should be a lot closer to mediocre than morbid."
— Peter Vecsey in the New York Post

"Colonel Sanders is the greatest white man that ever lived. Any white man who can make fried chicken that tastes that good has got to be great."
— Charles Barkley, in answer to the question: Who is the greatest white man?

"We were owed one. 'I'm just happy because it pisses off Gilbert Arenas."
— Celtics' coach Doc Rivers, after the Celtics recently defeated the Washington Wizards, made in response to comments by Arenas, who, after sinking the Celtics in Boston Jan. 25, said he was happy to have '"pissed off Doc Rivers."

"Every time we see him he wants to grandstand the whole game. It's supposed to be about the Mavs and the Spurs. It's not about him. Just call the [expletive] game. [Expletive] Dick Bavetta."
— Jerry Stackhouse, after referee Dick Bavetta ejected him from a game vs. the Spurs.

"Only one guy [in Philadelphia] has ever filled the building on a consistent basis. And last week, he was almost traded to Denver for a national park pass autographed by Al Gore."
— Philadelphia Inquirer writer Don McKee, on the controversy that erupted after Sixers' owner Ed Snider, complaining about low attendance this season, suggested that maybe the team should move to another city.

"He's not real fancy. If I had to label him a condiment for your sandwich, I'd say he was ketchup. He does a lot of things well."
— Michael Cage, former NBA rebounding champion and current Grizzlies' broadcaster, on Pau Gasol.

"The whole paper is like 'Tales of the Dark Side' or something."
— Allen Iverson, on all the bad news in the Philly newspapers, from the front page to the sports page.

"Okay, here is the latest good news from the Sixers:
* There are only 36 games left, including just 16 home games.
* Kyle Korver bobblehead night has passed.
* Neither Steven Hunter nor Lee Nailon, the two major free agent signings from the off season, are available to play."
— Bob Ford of the Philadelphia Inquirer.

"I understand him. I played with Vernon Maxwell."
— Sam Cassell, on Ron Artest.

"A three-time all-star for a talented knucklehead is about as good as anyone could expect."
— David Aldridge on the Artest-Stojakovic trade.

"By making layups."
— Lakers' coach Phil Jackson, when asked how Kwame Brown could help the team.

"The NBA fined the Knicks yesterday for not leaving this season in a timely manner."
— Peter Vecsey, New York Post

"Many have questioned Tim Thomas' heart long before Eddy Curry's."
— Peter Vecsey, New York Post

2004-05 Season
"The difference between those three is the Godfather trilogy. One is Fredo, who was never ready for me to hand it over to him. One is Sonny, who will do whatever it takes to be the man, and one is Michael, who if you watch the trilogy, the Godfather hands it over to Michael. So I have no problem handing it over to Dwyane."
— Shaquille O'Neal, on the difference between Penny Hardaway, Kobe Bryant, and Dwyane Wade.

"We might have to make that Maybe Not the Last Season."
— Lakers' executive VP (and Phil Jackson's girlfriend) Jeannie Buss, on a possilbe change of title to Phil's book The Last Season, if he returns to coach the Lakers.

"I was thinking, 'I got TNT Thursday.' "
— Jeff Van Gundy, on meeting President Clinton several years ago, and Clinton wanted to talk to him about leadership. Clinton told him, "I've got to go to Asia for an economic summit, then I've got to go to the Middle East."

"Stephon Marbury is not an intangible player. This table has more intangibles than Marbury."
— Chris "Mad Dog" Russo, on WFAN.

Bonus!
Q: How many Bulls fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five. One to change the light bulb and four to talk about how good the old one was.

"I'm on cloud nine just being here. So if I think about that, my head might explode. You don't want to see that."
— Raptors rookie Matt Bonner, on whether he might get to participate in the three point shoot out during All Star weekend.

"We've been hearing that we're the worst team since sliced bread."
— Orlando's Steve Francis, on fans' reaction to the Magic's recent 2-8 stretch. Francis also now wants to be called Steve-O.

"Can I curse? (Bleep) yeah."
— Miami's Damon Jones, when asked if Shaq really does make things better for the players around him.